When You Don't Have a Turntable to Play Classical Music at 78 RPM

I think this is probably the most iconic Calvin and Hobbes comic. And one of my favorites.

***

So it's been one week since I came back to school, and already I'm getting ready for the next break. It's been an alright week; some late nights doing papers, lots of snow, lots of sitting around. We began reading Plato's Allegory of the Cave and Apology of Socrates in Paideia this week, and I'm very bummed that we had to write on I, Rigoberta Menchu (possibly the most boring book I've ever head to read, including text books) and don't get to write on Plato. No offense to Menchu, but that book didn't merit more discussion and personal agony (Paideia paper-writing) than Plato does. I mean, the father of Western philosophical thought versus a discussion of Guatemalan indigenous culture and their struggle for preservation? Okay that doesn't seem so bad now that I say it. You'd have to read the books. Which you might haha.

But anyways I've been going through some personal struggles a lot lately, as evidenced by the pretty inconsistent moods of my blog posts. And some of it I've been willing to share, but I guess there is a limit. So in the semblance of honest revelation over the web to people I've never met and who care very little about my emotional well-being, I think I could discuss my own personal emotional outlets. And it's an obvious one: music.

Sometimes my own music, and if I feel sad or pissed off or something I'll go bang on the piano in Jenson, blast out some tuba music, or break a few strings on my guitar. If not, I'll put on some blues and use it as a channel for expression. I won't try to explain how music works so well to express feelings and let them off your back, because I think everyone already knows that. But lately music has been my refuge and my outlet as I go through some pretty tough times. And to relate this to Luther, I just want to say to any prospective students, if you play music, Luther's got some really great private music rooms where, if your pissed off or sad or whatever, you can let music do its work and pound on the piano or scream your lungs out or blast your instrument. Whatever your fancy. Right now I'm fancying some Hendrix.

Take it easy,

Danny

A Little Bit About Costa Rica and Some Musings Inspired by Thoreau

Pro bono: Bono after he ditched his first band, MeAlso.

***

These last few weeks I've been in Costa Rica to see my sister and hang out, so I have to apologize for my missed blog entry last week. My mom and dad and I left a week before Thanksgiving break, so I missed a pretty substantial chunk of school hanging out on some beautiful beaches and bummin' around the cloud forests.

One super interesting note: at one of the lodges we stayed at, a tame deer befriended me and acquiesced to a photo op, producing a really awesome picture of her licking me face and me being ever-so-pleased. However, due to the fact that apparently I'm super lazy when I'm home for vacation, I didn't upload any pictures and I'll have to wait to post that picture later on.

As for the Calvin comic, to avoiding beating around the metaphorical bush of hidden meaning, it simply represents a sort of "quiet desperation" that I've been feeling, to obliquely use Thoreau's phrase. I've been struggling to find meaning in struggling, anxious to discover the cause of my anxiety, pretty much just trying to figure out why I'm learning all this academic stuff at Luther and if the academic and social standards of our culture are worth giving a flying hoot about. It seems like a venture based on the idea that knowledge in the academic sense is inherently valuable and that using that knowledge to make a living in society is inherently desirable. But I don't know that it is.

Anyways, tomorrow we start "The Allegory of the Cave" by Plato in Paideia, and from what I've heard, it's a sort of expose on the struggling of man to gain knowledge. Perhaps this will help me gain a little perspective. Or maybe it will just confuse me.

Paying the Gravity Bill

I'm pretty sure Ylvi is remiss on some of their payments.

***

I've been working pretty much all weekend on homework. I was up till 3 on Friday night doing Spanish grammar exercises and writing summaries for Mexican soap opera episodes, till 2 on Saturday night preparing an essay for History and trying to read the Paideia book, and now it's 1:45 on Sunday night and I'm hoping for 4 hours of sleep tonight. It's not that I usually have this much homework- I'm just going to be gone this next week of classes through Thanksgiving break, so I'm making up the work I'm going to miss ahead of time.

So my brain's pretty fried right now and I have to apologize if any of my sentences seem illogically organized or completely incomprehensible. Anyways I chose that Calvin and Hobbes comic because I both empathize with Calvin and feel rather jealous of him. Why does he always have the sweetest excuses for not doing his homework? Mine just seem lame; I can't really rationalize not doing homework by explaining to my professors the complex psychological and emotional impacts social network sites have on the adolescent brain (read, Facebook is addicting).

All I've done this weekend is study, except for Saturday morning and afternoon when I went to the cross country meet. That was a lot of fun, though it was absolutely freezing. We drove down in the morning jamming out to an eclectic mix of Simon and Garfunkel, the Backstreet Boys, Hanson and Shaggy. Anyways what I mean to say is that I can't really vouch for the social life of college right now. Pretty much just the academic one. But I can say that Ylvi has nice study lounges (yay, go Luther).

If you had known me before college you would think that my suddenly and radically different behavioral pattern this weekend somewhat resembles a heroin addict donning a Santa suit to snap candid photos with children at the mall. (I'm sorry. Yes I'm dead tired right now but somehow I was going for being in a positive role model situation when one isn't really used to that role. No I've never done heroin.) Ultimately, what I'm trying to convey is that when one really sits down and decides to do something, he can do it. Or she can do it.

Take it easy,

Danny

How Moldy Banana Bread Led to a Discourse on Zen Philosophy

If only it worked that way with Paideia essays...

I've been very steadily pushing back the time I start my homework every night, and I'm beginning to feel it. However, Thanksgiving break isn't too far away and that will be an excellent respite from the college grind. I don't really remember anything I did last week, because, frankly, it was a very boring week and I didn't do much at all. The weekend was much better, filled with more climbing than my fingers and forearms really needed and hanging out with friends. And avoiding homework of course.

***

Woh I just got way off track there. One minute you're writing your blog and the next you get pulled away from the computer for like 10 seconds to throw a piece of crumbly, completely green moldy banana bread back at a friend who has just given ten million spores a new nesting place in your hair. Then suddenly its 1:30 in the morning (about 4 hours past that original ten seconds). Actually that's a great segue into something about college that I've noticed. Despite still having a class schedule, basically every other part of my day has become fluid and unplanned. Some days I do homework at 1:00 clock after lunch and again at 4:00, other days I wait till 2 in the morning to start writing a paper due the next day (I blame you and your Paideia-assigned texts, Martin Luther).

I might be sitting on my couch playing guitar or watching a movie or maybe reading Paideia (haha no seriously...), and a friend will stop by and suggest doing something. Just like that I'll be somewhere else doing something else with someone else, all at my whim. Out of all the most enjoyable times I've had here none of them have been planned, from shirtless wrestling on the library lawn in 20 degree weather to holding impromptu shaving cream room assault. The most important attitude to have if you want to have fun, is to be open to change, and to leave yourself free to do whatever random idea comes to mind. Seize upon the most ridiculous idea and do it and I promise you you will never forget it.

Take it easy,

Danny

P.S. On the note of random and unorganized fun, maybe we could take a page from Calvin. His famous Calvinball is an inspiration.

One Big Day After Another

Last week was rather mundane. Calvin's sentiments sum up my feelings about last week and how I'm feeling right now about school in general. Every day is rather the same and it's kind of wearing on me. However, I don't mean to be a downer, I'm just letting that out and now I can move on to other things.

It was a super nice day today and I felt like harkening back to spring of senior year and just skipping class and hanging out outside all day (mom, that actually didn't ever happen... very often). I was diligent, however, and went to all my classes. Partly because of my enterprising and industrious nature (haha sorry not at all ) and mostly because my classes include daily attendance as part of the grading structure. That actually kind of makes me mad, and I'm sorry to use Luther's official blog as a venue through which to vent my dissastisfaction with the school, but I feel like giving potential students an accurate description of the school through my lens is an appropriate discourse.

Part of me longs deeply for the complete responsibility of adulthood (note that I did not say freedom, for yes I do know that getting a job and paying bills is a deeper servitude than college), but I want so desperately to be treated with the attitude that I can manage myself, that I am no longer a kid who needs coddling and gentle directing towards the "right" path. I feel like sometimes, and I want to get to the point here so spare my bluntness and lack of cushy phrasing, Luther treats me like a irresponsible child needing guidance. Simply put, if I don't want to go to class and I feel like I can still learn the material and fulfill my responsibilities to the curriculum, I want to be able to do that and not get punished.

Don't get me wrong, there are many more freedoms at Luther than other colleges, but to any potential student out there, there is a huge difference from a private, small, liberal arts college and a large public institution. The nature of the beast, at least at Luther, is that you will have a more intimate experience with the college, but you won't experience as much self-guided responsibility. Anyways I don't want to rant.

So I started drinking this, I don't know, soda tea thing that I got at the Co-op downtown. It's absolutely amazing; there's a can sitting right by me actually. And it's not to tea-flavory either, but there is a definite subtle tea after taste. It's hard to explain. I recommend trying it if you can find it somewhere. Like the Co-op downtown in Decorah :)



Take it easy,

Danny

Floatin' Above the Maze, or, How to Survive in a Crazy World

It snowed yesterday, and it's getting much much colder. I guess I'm sad to see the fall come to a close so early in the year, but weather is the absolutely most pointless thing to get upset or worried over. I mean, no matter what we do we can't change it so it makes no sense to get mad about it. Plus it gives me a chance to post some of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes comics that deal with snowmen :)

It's been a pretty slow five days I've been back, and I really hope it picks up. I'm getting a little worn out, probably because of going to the rock wall everyday and because my reading assignments have intensified. Actually, what is really weird is that I've been going to sleep at 10 or so the past few nights. Yes, 10 o'clock. So I don't know what's happening to me.

It was my birthday on Saturday (yay 19) and I just kinda chilled by myself most of the day. I know that sounds depressing but it was actually so refreshing. I just wore my PJs, rented a movie from the library and watched that, climbed a bit, and read a lot. It started me thinking again (yes, I do that a lot I know) and I realized that people these days don't value the solitary life. Our youth society says a lot that we need social interaction all the time, that the highest-valued people are those that have the most friends, throw the most parties, but this seems so backwards to me.

Seriously, though, being alone allows for the most important kind of introspection, self-reflection, critical thinking and perspective-broadening thought there is. Just spending time being away from people, for me at least, helps me be happier when I am hanging with people, when I'm in a social situation. I don't know if I could explain exactly the reason behind it, but it seems to me that spending some alone time makes for a much wiser and less stressful life. It's like floating upwards from a crazy wild maze and looking down at how it all plays out, just letting the freedom of being up there alone wash away all the stress of life.

That's a weird metaphor, I'm sorry. So my diatribe tonight was about always being with people. I spent my birthday largely alone and I loved it so much. Please don't think I'm a hermit, because I love being around people. Just in the right amount. Hopefully my parents won't want to send me to a psychologist like Calvin and Hobbes' parents. I've got the cold week ahead and its pretty daunting, but I did bring back more blankets from home over fall break. I think I'm prepared.

Take it easy friends,

Danny

All My Loving, I Will Send to You...

So I'm home now and sitting in the kitchen waiting for dinner to finish cooking. Home cooking>caf cooking. By far. I've been home now since Friday night and I would definitely have to say that being home is a pretty polarizing experience; there are so many things that I have missed and am now greedily enjoying (my own bed and shower, my mom's cooking, knowing the streets and having a car to drive, hugging my dog much harder and longer than she remotely desires, and surprisingly enough, having the Discovery Channel back on channel 43 like its supposed to be), but there are also some things that I miss about Luther too. The beautiful landscape, my friends there, the rock wall, and the lack of obligation I have to report my whereabouts (read: freedom).

Anyways one of the aspects about being home that has been really really awesome is seeing my girlfriend. She goes to high school here in town (Sioux Falls) and so it's been a real struggle adapting our relationship to the distance between us. We've been dating for about 8 months now and we're going strong, but when I left for Luther in the fall there was a big question about whether or not we should stay together, whether it would be the best for both of us to be together or to skip all the difficulties and explore other relationships. We ended up deciding that we just didn't want to separate and that we would try being together. It has been super hard at times but it's also been worth it.

Seeing her this break and hanging out with her has made me so happy; it's like we weren't apart for 2 months and are just back to goofing off and having fun. When I left though, people said that we would never work, that we would break up within a month and that we shouldn't try. I know that my situation isn't a universal one at all but I do want to say that long-distance relationships can work if you try hard. Don't give up on a relationship just because there's going to be distance between you two.

I've found that the best way to maintain a healthy relationship while still being faithful and true is to give each other freedom with communication; if one can't talk one night or is with friends, just let it be and talk another night or text later. It's right to expect them to be faithful and honest about what their doing (aka not date anyone else unless its talked about and definitely not cheat), but just relax the reins a bit. If it's love and it's meant to be then it will work out and you will figure out a way to stay together over a long distance. If it doesn't work, it's for the better and you'll be happier in the long run.

As for now, Erica (my girlfriend) and I will be together and try to work through all the trials of being apart. We've been going strong for almost two months apart now and I'm sure we can make it through.

By the way, the comic appearing above has very little to do with the subject of the blog but lately I've been feeling pretty conflicted with my desire to live a simple life with my perceived need for material things. But I won't bore you with the details of that inner dialogue :)

Take it easy,

Danny

Why We Laugh

Last night I went camping with some friends, and after gathering wood and starting a nice crackling fire, setting up our tent and laying out our sleeping bags, we sat down to relax and talk. After a while of just talking about this and that, the recent happenings in our lives, we started talking about religion and society. We delved into salvation and morality, materialism and happiness, evangelism and human relationships- pretty much anything that came to mind. It was an amazing conversation made even more special by our surroundings. It also made me realize, like Hobbes, that so much of what's really important in life just doesn't make sense and is beyond our ability to comprehend. And that is pretty scary, for sure, but I also realized that although I was coming to see I knew less and less about the world then I thought I did, this didn't make me sad or scared. It made me happy.

There is a sort of freedom in understanding that much of the world is beyond control and so completely unknowable- it's the freedom from needless worry and the huge fragile framework of materialism and societal definitions of happiness. To me it is, at least. So that whole structure of thought kind of stemmed from my conversation last night with those guys. I'm sad that fall will soon be over and winter will be here, but at least then these Asian beetles that are infesting my room will go away (honestly last time I counted --like 10 minutes ago-- there was over twenty and they were all concentrated in the corner of the ceiling right over my desk).

So now I'm a writer for Chips, the Luther newspaper. I guess I've been writing for them for a while but now I am an official part of the staff, which is a really big honor. The more I write and interview with people on campus the more I feel like journalism could be a definite possibility for a career. Luther, however, doesn't have a journalism major, so I don't know how I'm going to swing that one. The newspaper is online, though, if you want to read it.

Things are going well, otherwise. I'm getting into a rhythm here and starting to find a niche. I think it's going to take a long time to really find a home for myself here, but I have faith now, because I see it happening. Friends are getting closer and the campus is seeming more familiar. For a while at the beginning of the year all I could think about was the college in my hometown, Augustana, and how comfortable I'd be there. But that's a story for another time- suffice it to say I've grown to accept Luther and am coming to thoroughly enjoy it.

Take it easy,

Danny

Looking Under Rocks

These weeks are pretty much just kind of rolling by; I fear I'm losing touch with the moment, always looking forward or back while the present just kind of happens. It's hard to explain, but suffice it say I just want life to slow down a little bit. It's the side of the mountains that hold up the top, to paraphrase Robert Pirsig. The week's been pretty busy, but with nothing special in particular. I had a Paideia paper, a History paper, the everyday homework stuff. I wrote another story for Chips (which, incidentally, is becoming a favorite activity of mine- the life of a journalist is looking more and more appealing to me. But that's a story for a different time).

Anyway, last night I went to an astronomy observation on top of the Valders science building. It was a beautiful night for it; chilly but without any clouds at all. I could even see the stars that look like dust making up our galaxy- they were so silent... I mean, how can they be so many and so small and infinite and yet so silent and still? It reminds me of a poem by Ralph Hodgson...

A pair of stars, faint pins of light,
Then many a star, sailed into sight,
And all the stars, the flower of night,
Were round me at a leap;
To tell how still the valleys lay
I heard a watchdog miles away. . . .
And bells of distant sheep.

So that got me all in a contemplative mood, in a way that I get sometimes, where all I can really do is just be quiet and think about life. What are we really, with all the fancy fabric that we think defines us, our precious metals and expensive electronics. I don't know- it's just that when you think about the universe and how small, how so very small we all are, it casts just a bit of doubt on what we think is so important in life.

Kudos to Calvin and Hobbes in that respect. All I really need to say is, everyone just needs to spend a little more time looking under rocks in a creek than wasting away under the silky comforts of materialism.

And that got me thinking about God, but I fear trying to write down the mess of thoughts in my head about God would be a disaster and a much longer blog post than anyone wants to read. I'm off to eat lunch, then to the rock wall for some good climbing. Then, I don't know, it's a beautiful day, and I think there are some undersides to some pretty cool lookin' stones down by the Upper Iowa that haven't seen the light of day in far too long :)

Take it easy,

Danny

A Little Zen

So it's fall, and I'm happy. Out above the Regents Athletic Center on the walk from my dorm to the Union the trees on the far hill are just turning color, and something about the mixture of a few orange, red and yellow trees among the green seems to me to be so much prettier than any picture or painting could encapsulate. Fall has just always been that season that represents such natural beauty and wisdom, and if summer is the joyous zest of young adulthood, then fall is the serene contemplation of old age.

I could go on about fall, but suffice it to say that when the trees are turning and the air loses its angry heat, there's nowhere inside that can make me as happy as being outside.

Its been, what, almost a month now that I've been here, and everything is getting better. People in my classes are becoming more comfortable (including me) and we are having some great discussions. Last night I went to a Philosophy Society meeting and it was so amazing to be able to sit, listen, and discuss with other people some higher-level issues for just the sake of talking and learning. I had a couple friends in high school that would have just these amazing discussions about life and philosophy and religion, anything and everything. And I think part of the problem that I had coming to Luther was leaving them, and having to find again people that could be that kind of intellectual stimulus for me. I just want to say, if you are afraid you'll miss your friends, you probably will. But at least for me here at Luther, there are some great, smart, funny, caring people, and you don't have to abandon old friendships to make some amazing new ones.

What we really miss in today's society, I think, are two things that I've found have made me happier than any consumeristic pasttime ever has: simply enjoying the exact moment we find ourselves in, and honest, genuine discussion about life. And everything about Fall centers me around those two things, for reasons I don't quite understand. Perhaps its the beauty of nature and the ability to enjoy little things like the exact color of a tree's dying leaves.

So anyways, that's the moral of the story, folks. Or at least what I'm thinking right now. Tomorrow I'm going bouldering (like rock climbing, only small-scale without harnesses) around the Ice Caves with some good friends, and just... just... I don't know. I'm just happy.

Take it easy,

Danny

Reality Check

It's been about two and a half weeks now, and I think I'm beginning to find a place for myself. I'm also learning a lot about myself, as cliche as that may sound, and I'm coming to terms with a lot of aspects about myself that I've never really been able to accept. It's been a huge challenge for me lately trying to integrate into the whole Luther community, and for a while I was really unhappy. I think it's important for new students to be able to say that, and to know that there are others that are feeling the same way. It's hard to explain, but feeling like you belong somewhere takes a whole lot of effort and sometimes it can seem almost impossible.

Most of my friends here are cross country runners, and sometimes when we are all together, I feel like a bit of an outsider. So I've found ways of entertaining myself alone, and have discovered that while I do enjoy social gatherings and being with people, it is a true joy to be alone. One of the things that I've found I love doing is going to the climbing wall at Regents- I've never climbed before, even on a wall, and I think climbing is my new addiction.

Yet to be honest most of my time has been spent doing homework, and I have begun to realize another aspect about myself that is rather Calvinesque. I tend to think in terms of idealistic generalization. In short, I thought college would be all learning and no work, all opportunity and no effort. Yes, I was wrong. I've been doing studying and doing homework and writing papers, and one of the challenges I'll be facing is learning to enjoy that. (Yes, that's me being idealistic again.)

I'm gaining some ground, though. I'm learning about myself and I'm learning what it means to be independent. My feet are still restless yet, but a very wise friend once told me, intimacy is created through opennness. I will, if I can, remain open to life, to experience. The true joy in life is to be found in the subject, not the object, in the interpretation and understanding of experience, not solely in the context.

Take it easy friends,

Danny

These Boots are Made for Walking

"The world isn't so bad if you can just get out in it"

Well I made it through the first half-week of school last week and I guess you could say I'm thoroughly on my way to becoming a full-time college student. I've got all my books and I've got my dorm room completely set up. I've completed my first five hour homework stint in the library (which I'm sure will seem paltry in the months to come), and met a whole slew of new people. I had my first test and first paper and I made my first trip to Wal-Mart to buy supplies I needed (and many that I didn't. Why did I buy that subwoofer again?)

But if I was asked to explain what defined my first week in college, outside of the mundane and homogenous experiences I've related, I'd find it hard to pinpoint a reason college feels so much different from anything I've felt before. I have, however, found out that despite my initial feeling of excitement and adventure, I am now experiencing something I never thought I would so soon: restlessness.

That may sound pretty harmless, but to me, it means I've got some major potential problems. All through high school I found myself gazing out the window during class wishing I was elsewhere, somewhere exciting, somewhere just not where I was. I was never really happy on a Saturday night anywhere in my hometown doing any number of things I'd done for the past four years of Saturday nights. And I thought being at college would change that, that'd I'd feel free and unleashed as if released from a straight-jacket.

I don't feel that, though. Like Calvin in the strip that headlines my blog today (incidentally my favorite Calvin and Hobbes strip), I wish I could just be out in the world. I don't know how this will play out, but for now my restlessness here at Luther, which has been causing its own share of discomfort and even sadness, will remain an inactive player in my decisions. I think, though, that I must do something to alleviate my own predicament, for it seems more and more that nothing in life simply happens for my benefit without my own action stimulating it.

What I shall do, I have no idea, but if you have any ideas, let me know! With the beautiful Autumn weather approaching, I fear a simple trip out into the wild will become more and more appealing without some comfort to be found here at Luther.

Take it easy,

Danny

Embracing my Inner Susie

Personally, I think Bill Watterson is a genius. For those who don't know who that is, he is the creator of Calvin and Hobbes and is in large part responsible for my philosophy on life. So as the school year at Luther is about to begin, I thought it fitting to open with a few relevant Calvin comics. Throughout the year I will probably attach numerous comics, and for those who read Calvin and Hobbes, you know that the problem I'll have is not finding one that fits my situation but choosing out of so many that both make me laugh and think critically about the state of humankind.

Kind of deep for a comic strip, I know.

But I figure college is going to be like that: lots of laughs and good times coupled with a whole lot of studying and thinking way deeper than I really want to or am capable of (I mean, half the time in high school didn't we just kinda of B.S. our way through English class? Or is that just me?). And with classes starting tomorrow, I sort of feel like a mixture of Calvin and Susie in that first strip on the top of the page. I'm really confused about my own labotomy stitches.

I'm a divided man right now, apparently. Part of me is looking forward to a collegiate academic experience: intelligent and engaging professors, relevant subject matter and a high level of intellectual fellowship amongst students. Yet the other half asks, with three days of hanging out and playing ultimate frisbee behind me, why am I looking forward to going back to school? To doing homework, to staying up late studying, and worst of all, to writing papers?

When I was in high school, I had a view of college that conveniently omitted the tedium of schoolwork (sound vaguely familiar?) I pictured parties and friends and freedom and even when I thought of schoolwork I pictured interesting and enjoyable conversations with fellow students and professors, not any of the nitty gritty work that I just despise. So in that sense I'm a bit like Calvin in the second strip, and as I realize that college is gonna be much more nitty gritty than a freely-given high-paying job and opportunity, I find that perhaps I need to buckle down and get ready to embrace my inner Susie.

I've found that being positive about learning, as cheesy as it sounds, really helps to overcome some otherwise detestable activities. Like studying. Fake it till you make it, I was once told. We'll have to see tomorrow how well I can fake it. It'll be hard, for sure, but it won't hurt I end my academic day with an Ultimate Frisbee skills class. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, right?

Take it easy,

Danny