A Little Zen

So it's fall, and I'm happy. Out above the Regents Athletic Center on the walk from my dorm to the Union the trees on the far hill are just turning color, and something about the mixture of a few orange, red and yellow trees among the green seems to me to be so much prettier than any picture or painting could encapsulate. Fall has just always been that season that represents such natural beauty and wisdom, and if summer is the joyous zest of young adulthood, then fall is the serene contemplation of old age.

I could go on about fall, but suffice it to say that when the trees are turning and the air loses its angry heat, there's nowhere inside that can make me as happy as being outside.

Its been, what, almost a month now that I've been here, and everything is getting better. People in my classes are becoming more comfortable (including me) and we are having some great discussions. Last night I went to a Philosophy Society meeting and it was so amazing to be able to sit, listen, and discuss with other people some higher-level issues for just the sake of talking and learning. I had a couple friends in high school that would have just these amazing discussions about life and philosophy and religion, anything and everything. And I think part of the problem that I had coming to Luther was leaving them, and having to find again people that could be that kind of intellectual stimulus for me. I just want to say, if you are afraid you'll miss your friends, you probably will. But at least for me here at Luther, there are some great, smart, funny, caring people, and you don't have to abandon old friendships to make some amazing new ones.

What we really miss in today's society, I think, are two things that I've found have made me happier than any consumeristic pasttime ever has: simply enjoying the exact moment we find ourselves in, and honest, genuine discussion about life. And everything about Fall centers me around those two things, for reasons I don't quite understand. Perhaps its the beauty of nature and the ability to enjoy little things like the exact color of a tree's dying leaves.

So anyways, that's the moral of the story, folks. Or at least what I'm thinking right now. Tomorrow I'm going bouldering (like rock climbing, only small-scale without harnesses) around the Ice Caves with some good friends, and just... just... I don't know. I'm just happy.

Take it easy,

Danny

Reality Check

It's been about two and a half weeks now, and I think I'm beginning to find a place for myself. I'm also learning a lot about myself, as cliche as that may sound, and I'm coming to terms with a lot of aspects about myself that I've never really been able to accept. It's been a huge challenge for me lately trying to integrate into the whole Luther community, and for a while I was really unhappy. I think it's important for new students to be able to say that, and to know that there are others that are feeling the same way. It's hard to explain, but feeling like you belong somewhere takes a whole lot of effort and sometimes it can seem almost impossible.

Most of my friends here are cross country runners, and sometimes when we are all together, I feel like a bit of an outsider. So I've found ways of entertaining myself alone, and have discovered that while I do enjoy social gatherings and being with people, it is a true joy to be alone. One of the things that I've found I love doing is going to the climbing wall at Regents- I've never climbed before, even on a wall, and I think climbing is my new addiction.

Yet to be honest most of my time has been spent doing homework, and I have begun to realize another aspect about myself that is rather Calvinesque. I tend to think in terms of idealistic generalization. In short, I thought college would be all learning and no work, all opportunity and no effort. Yes, I was wrong. I've been doing studying and doing homework and writing papers, and one of the challenges I'll be facing is learning to enjoy that. (Yes, that's me being idealistic again.)

I'm gaining some ground, though. I'm learning about myself and I'm learning what it means to be independent. My feet are still restless yet, but a very wise friend once told me, intimacy is created through opennness. I will, if I can, remain open to life, to experience. The true joy in life is to be found in the subject, not the object, in the interpretation and understanding of experience, not solely in the context.

Take it easy friends,

Danny

These Boots are Made for Walking

"The world isn't so bad if you can just get out in it"

Well I made it through the first half-week of school last week and I guess you could say I'm thoroughly on my way to becoming a full-time college student. I've got all my books and I've got my dorm room completely set up. I've completed my first five hour homework stint in the library (which I'm sure will seem paltry in the months to come), and met a whole slew of new people. I had my first test and first paper and I made my first trip to Wal-Mart to buy supplies I needed (and many that I didn't. Why did I buy that subwoofer again?)

But if I was asked to explain what defined my first week in college, outside of the mundane and homogenous experiences I've related, I'd find it hard to pinpoint a reason college feels so much different from anything I've felt before. I have, however, found out that despite my initial feeling of excitement and adventure, I am now experiencing something I never thought I would so soon: restlessness.

That may sound pretty harmless, but to me, it means I've got some major potential problems. All through high school I found myself gazing out the window during class wishing I was elsewhere, somewhere exciting, somewhere just not where I was. I was never really happy on a Saturday night anywhere in my hometown doing any number of things I'd done for the past four years of Saturday nights. And I thought being at college would change that, that'd I'd feel free and unleashed as if released from a straight-jacket.

I don't feel that, though. Like Calvin in the strip that headlines my blog today (incidentally my favorite Calvin and Hobbes strip), I wish I could just be out in the world. I don't know how this will play out, but for now my restlessness here at Luther, which has been causing its own share of discomfort and even sadness, will remain an inactive player in my decisions. I think, though, that I must do something to alleviate my own predicament, for it seems more and more that nothing in life simply happens for my benefit without my own action stimulating it.

What I shall do, I have no idea, but if you have any ideas, let me know! With the beautiful Autumn weather approaching, I fear a simple trip out into the wild will become more and more appealing without some comfort to be found here at Luther.

Take it easy,

Danny

Embracing my Inner Susie

Personally, I think Bill Watterson is a genius. For those who don't know who that is, he is the creator of Calvin and Hobbes and is in large part responsible for my philosophy on life. So as the school year at Luther is about to begin, I thought it fitting to open with a few relevant Calvin comics. Throughout the year I will probably attach numerous comics, and for those who read Calvin and Hobbes, you know that the problem I'll have is not finding one that fits my situation but choosing out of so many that both make me laugh and think critically about the state of humankind.

Kind of deep for a comic strip, I know.

But I figure college is going to be like that: lots of laughs and good times coupled with a whole lot of studying and thinking way deeper than I really want to or am capable of (I mean, half the time in high school didn't we just kinda of B.S. our way through English class? Or is that just me?). And with classes starting tomorrow, I sort of feel like a mixture of Calvin and Susie in that first strip on the top of the page. I'm really confused about my own labotomy stitches.

I'm a divided man right now, apparently. Part of me is looking forward to a collegiate academic experience: intelligent and engaging professors, relevant subject matter and a high level of intellectual fellowship amongst students. Yet the other half asks, with three days of hanging out and playing ultimate frisbee behind me, why am I looking forward to going back to school? To doing homework, to staying up late studying, and worst of all, to writing papers?

When I was in high school, I had a view of college that conveniently omitted the tedium of schoolwork (sound vaguely familiar?) I pictured parties and friends and freedom and even when I thought of schoolwork I pictured interesting and enjoyable conversations with fellow students and professors, not any of the nitty gritty work that I just despise. So in that sense I'm a bit like Calvin in the second strip, and as I realize that college is gonna be much more nitty gritty than a freely-given high-paying job and opportunity, I find that perhaps I need to buckle down and get ready to embrace my inner Susie.

I've found that being positive about learning, as cheesy as it sounds, really helps to overcome some otherwise detestable activities. Like studying. Fake it till you make it, I was once told. We'll have to see tomorrow how well I can fake it. It'll be hard, for sure, but it won't hurt I end my academic day with an Ultimate Frisbee skills class. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, right?

Take it easy,

Danny