February 22, 2009

Do you ever get the weird feeling that you aren't really where you are? That you aren't really in the place you are, with the people you're with, or the things that are happening around you aren't really happening to you? And it's not really as if anything tragic is happening. It's just that you could never have ever pictured yourself in the situation you're in. It's a weird feeling. It makes you feel like you have no essential, concrete self, that you are kind of a floating spectre just passing by and observing what's going on around you. I was in Minneapolis this weekend, sitting in a hotel room late at night with some guys from Grinnell College, and I got that feeling. I felt overwhelmingly lost, but not bad lost. Just floating.

Other than that one weird feeling, which I thoroughly enjoyed (if for nothing other than the sake of new experience), the Journalism conference was pretty normal. Lots of good speakers, and some good chill times just hanging out with the other journalists at Luther. The conference made me realize that I really don't know what I want to major in or do with my life. I think I'll major in life. That should be broad enough to cover most things I might wanna do after graduation. We did go out dancing at a club last night though. There are some pretty awesome aspects to living in Decorah, but sometimes a big city offers a level of excitement found nowhere else.

One thing I very much like about Luther thus far: very few people I've met are judgmental. Most everybody is open to understanding and learning about different lifestyle choices, so that's been pretty awesome. I've noticed that you can do about anything you like, and nobody will look down on you (for the most part- I mean, there are still a lot of people happily mired in their exclusionary understanding of life). But you know what, who cares? Most people on campus are chill, and I like it that way. My views on life have been changing a whole lot since college started; I sincerely hope that most people allow themselves to question everything they've been taught about life, because when you question it, whether you come back to it or change, you have a deeper understanding of why you believe what you believe.

I've got another week ahead of me with classes and homework and all that. I don't think I've got anything exciting planned, but that's okay. A day is a day is a day. Our Paideia research unit is just getting started, and the exciting part is over (choosing a topic). But what's pretty cool is that every freshman on campus is doing this. Misery loves company :)

Take it easy,

Danny

Orbit Trajectories and Life

New semester.

***

Tonight is the Jon McLaughlin concert, and I'm pretty excited to go. I mean, I'm not like a huge fan of his, but it will be fun just to do something different and exciting for a change. I've been swamped lately with homework (most of which I've actually done), and in need of a little break. However, I must say that some of my reading has been really interesting. In Philosophy we are talking about Plato and Socrates, and I've been getting really into it. My prof is super engaging and into the material, so I think that I'm catching the bug. Throughout most of the class I'm scribbling down notes on what she's saying and adding my comments about the philosophy to remember later.

Next weekend I'm headed to Minneapolis for a journalism convention, and I'm very excited for it. It should be really interesting, because they have a lot of great speakers and conferences (plus the Star Tribune just went bankrupt, so I wonder if they will talk about that at all, the conference being in Minneapolis and all). Somewhat, though, I'm just excited to get off campus. Luther is a great place to be, and activities planners do an awesome job of getting fun things to come to campus (the concert tonight), but Luther does have the unfortunate geographical hindrance of being in the middle of nowhere. I miss cities sometimes, and being in Minneapolis will be a pleasure. You can be both anonymous and intimately connected in a city--something that is hard to do at a small college in a small town.

Last weekend I had a prospective student stay with me, and it was a great experience. He was a really cool guy, and we got along well. I found myself explaining Luther to him from my perspective, and I realized that I actually quite like Luther. Sometimes it takes articulating your own confused thoughts to someone else to help you figure out what you really mean. I started writing in a journal a few months ago, and that's helped me so much to figure out my feelings towards some really confusing parts of my life. Our minds are so cluttered at college, and in our hectic society in general, that we sometimes lose sight of the big picture. We read an article in my Comparative Politics class today about how Prince Charles just turned 60 and is still waiting to be crowned King of England after his mom, Queen Elizabeth II dies or gives up the throne to him. The article praised Charles for being an uncommon example of patience and stoicism. She made the point about our modern society, about the petty irritation we feel when we lose a few moments waiting for a computer to warm up, that we are so extremely impatient. She asked, what are we rushing our lives toward?

What are we rushing to get to? I'm surrounded by people freaking out about papers and assignments and getting a good GPA, about getting into grad school or med school, and spending all their time closeted in their rooms getting the willies trying to do everything at once. I just wish people would slow down a bit, and realize that this is the best time in our lives. We are healthy, young, and we aren't old enough to be cynical about love and life. We should all make stupid decisions, and experience life, and not worry about how this or that might affect our chances at a good job and the good life. We are all rushing towards the same, inevitable end. I just hope that when I'm on my death bed, I can say that I enjoyed life, not hurried through it.

Take it easy,

Danny

Warming Up

So second semester is in full swing now, and although I'm reeling from the cost of books, I think I'm settling into a good routine a bit. The warm weather here has been both unexpected and wonderful-it's 52 degrees out right now! In the middle of February! Sometimes I think global warming may not be that bad of a process. I mean, apart from the ecological devastation, wearing shorts and sandals in Feb. is rather nice. I'm even thinking about heading outside to set up my slackline, though the ground is so saturated with melted snow that there are small lakes forming on the library lawn. Seems like everyone here is catching the spring bug; there are droves of people out walking right now, and everyone seems to be in a happier mood. I'm just rather sad because I think that we are most likely in for a icy blow from winter to bring us back to the reality that it is February and we live in the midwest plains.

I got my J-term grades back, and am happy I put so much effort into that class. Stuff always seems so hard when you are going through it, but with a happy ending you can reconceptualize the experience and conveniently forget the long hours trudging through reading and homework. We are on the downward slope of the year, leading to spring, spring break, and eventually summer (although the ominous spectre of finals keeps reminding me that it won't all be fun and games outside in the warm weather).

I have this quote sticky-noted up on my desk:

"If you add up the college education of Steinbeck, Hemingway, & Faulkner, you get to spring break of freshman year." - Tom Wolfe

And I don't mean it to be an indictment against schooling, just a convenient reminder that schooling isn't the end all and be all of wisdom and life insight. Did Shakespeare get an English degree? True, he lived in a different time, but really, you don't need to get an degree in something to pursue a dream and be successful (whatever the hell success is). The point that I'm sort of getting at here, though, is that even though I have this quote up there to remind me that I should never dismay about having to pick a major or "career" path, it's literal implications are ever-increasing as the warm weather approaches. Every day the road is more inticing- hopefully the spring break trip I'm planning with my friends will satiate my wanderlust. We'll just have to wait and see.

Take it easy,

Danny

Optimism and the Future

I hope my dorm plant survived over break.

***

Tomorrow second semester classes start and I feel actually rather excited. I'm taking some new classes, but alas must continue with Paideia. I hope very much that I will feel like I gained something valuable at the end of the year, so that I don't regret how much effort I've put in that class. But one very comforting thing about this semester is the oncoming warm weather, and as soon as the sandals, shorts, and slackline come out, I will be exponentially happier.

Break was pretty relaxing, and it was really nice to get some good home-cooked meals; I am pretty ready to be back at school with my Luther friends. It's weird how you can come to miss something as home when you've only been there for a couple of months. Right now in my room there are a bunch of guys playing an impromptu Mario Tennis tournament and I realize that these guys have made this place like home for me, not necessarily the building, or my room or my bed.

I think we are planning on going to the Ozarks for spring break; that should be awesome. Camping, hiking, climbing, just hanging out around a fire; it'll be something to keep me going after the novelty of new classes wears off and I get weary from the daily grind. I had to look for jobs over break though, and I fear that the summer that I once looked forward to so much will now be primarily a monetary endeavor. It's alright though. Once I get through college and can hop a train to nowhere I won't need to work at all :)

My first class tomorrow is at 12:15. I am very excited to get some good sleep this semester. Hope you all do as well.

Take is easy,

Danny