Someone to Eat Apples With...

How about someone to take a walk with on a bright spring morning?

***

Today in Chips (the student newspaper) I read a story about the graduation commencement ceremonies and realized that we only have a quarter left of school. When I look back at the beginning of the year and the uncertainty I felt trying to meet friends, dealing with a college workload, adjusting to a whole new way of life in a new setting, I realize that I have come a long ways. But it really doesn't feel like it took that long to get here. Which makes me wonder what life will be like, what I'll be like in only another three-quarters of a year, which will be... next year at Christmas break? Well, what I mean to say is, I've changed a lot, and will continue to change. But that doesn't bother me too much. I'm always me as long as my self-perception continues to be a present thing, and not a past thing. Some people get caught up in defining themselves by what they've done, by what they were, and that just makes change so hard.

Yesterday felt like a genuine spring day. I took my bike and rode down to the Depot, but didn't find any cool clothes to get; instead, I bought a couple books of poetry and two novels. After that I biked to the Co-op and bought a root beer and journaled for a bit. I was about to leave when I decided I really wanted to get some Blue Sky tea and chocolate-covered blueberries, so I stocked up on those and am now munchin' away. I think today I'll set up the slack line and thoroughly avoid doing my Paideia research paper. I'm writing about the Communist revolution in China and how it affected the family, and it's actually been quite interesting, but a guy can take only so much academia on a beautiful spring day.

I really agree with Calvin in the comic strip above. It's so damn hard to find good friends. Seems like there a lots of people that will spend their time with you, but when it comes down to it, they don't much care about you. But that's life, isn't it? You spend the majority of your time doing things you don't really want to do with people you don't really care to be with, just to have a few moments where you can let go of all that and do something for yourself. It doesn't make sense to me why we go through this long process of education, plunge ourselves into a career, and when our bodies are beginning to go, we stop it all and give ourselves some freedom to do what we want in life. It seems so obvious to me that we work for society, not that society works for us. We are slaves to a system that we created, and we don't know how to get out of it.

I know a guy here at Luther that's taking a year off next year and going to travel a bit, working on organic farms in New Zealand, Nepal, and one other place I can't remember. I envy him. I think I'll maybe do the same thing, if I ever get the courage to deviate from societal and parental expectations. For now, it's springtime and I want to go for a walk.

Take it easy,

Danny