Waste

In philosophy we just finished reading a text about the presumptive nature of all life and the faith inherent in all actions and beliefs, even the belief in truth. I never knew Calvin was such a philosopher at heart, but then again, Calvin is seems to have a keener insight into life than most philosophers I've read.

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Tonight I went to Magpie's to study a bit with Inga, but ended up getting distracted by so many things that I ended up reading just one chapter in one of the books I have to read tonight. I would start to read, and then decide to check facebook, and then I would answer a text, and then maybe I would drink some coffee and talk to Inga for a bit. I felt almost thinned out, spread over way too many objectives and actions, like my feeling of contentedness was intimately tied with my feeling of concentration. But that doesn't seem right to me, because when I truly concentrate I feel a growing restlessness. I can never seem to find a happy medium, a place where I am both concentrated without being restless and distracted without losing the illusion of progress. It's the ultimate talent a college student can have, I think: to think, but not too hard. Such a banal distinction, but one that people strive for so tenaciously and so rarely successfully.

I feel like I never tell stories in this blog, but I rather just ramble. The problem is I have so many thoughts, and the thoughts crowd out the everyday happenings. I would feel unjustified, or rather, disillusioning myself, to place the highest importance in this one-way forum of mine on actions that have not pressed upon me any lasting impression; rather, my thoughts consume my daily energy and leave me with the emotions that prevail from one minute to the next. What I mean to say is, my life at this point is based so thoroughly on academics, on rigorous mental work, that the very timbre of my life has been adjusted to resound with the nature of my intellectual musings. Thus the more temporal aspect of my life, the comings and goings of everyday college life, the visits to the caf, the hours spent playing frisbee or slacklining, really haven't meant much to me, and I haven't really been moved to comment on them in this blog.

But that's a shame isn't it? That I place all my eggs in the basket of academic experience, and none the very real and very powerful forces of the physical world. I ought to strive for a balance in the placement of my energies and in the investment of my emotional endeavors; I ought to try to simply be more present in the corporeal world. How that translates into action, I have no idea. But perhaps a little fun distraction might help- something to get away from the collegiate grind. Any ideas?

And on that note, I really have to get back into my homework. Only three more days until the weekend. Take it easy,

Danny